The Mail has learned that homosexuals are responsible for smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself.

Has the world gone mad? Homosexuals are smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Margaret Thatcher, who said "yet again these oafs have destroyed my evening."